- If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
- There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
- Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
- Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
- Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
- Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
- Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
- Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
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